It may be strange, multi-textured, discombobulating territory, but it’s also a rich landscape of potential. When I embarked on the trippy trip to menopauseland 18 years ago, there was little support to be found. Some women move through it gracefully, but I often felt powerless with symptoms driving me to the edges of sanity. Creativity, writing, friendship, humor, and spiritual practice helped. Let’s chat.
I independently selected products in this post—if you buy from one of my links, I may earn a commission.
Welcome to Menopauseland
A Very WARM WELCOME to Weird
There was no easing into perimenopause years. I was 42, and one day I was a cheerful private academic tutor living in a dream house we built on the edge of the forest, and the next I was not.
Brain fog moved in as my ability to concentrate in tutoring sessions with students left. Despair weighted down my soul despite blessings and a lot of privilege. My dreams were full of rage; then sleep entirely disappeared.
Anxiety would have been easier to manage had the panic been more pervasive. It was the back and forth jolts that did me in. An episode could arise fiercely then resolve 15 minutes later. Uncertainty and chaos. I fled to the grocery store parking lot, leaving a full cart in the store more times than I can say.
My wiring seemed to be haywire, and I began to sense estrogen surging, depleting, or balancing throughout the day. I was not me. In fact, for a period of time, I felt no safety being alone.
While I wasn’t in danger of self-harm, it felt unsafe to be myself…completely foreign to this longtime introvert.
Journey for Medical Answers
Naturally I saw my GYN, and while she was concerned, she refused to acknowledge these changes were related to hormones or menopause. She even phoned my husband to ask if he suspected bipolar disorder. When I accompanied my younger sister to her annual exam with this same doc, I witnessed my doctor’s response when my sister asked whether she too might experience symptoms like mine. “Oh, nooooooo, your sister’s experience is not at all normal aging.”
So things were awful AND I was a freak or outlier. It was a different time, and I would never stick with such “care” today. I suffered, silenced my intuition, remained sleep-deprived, and collected opinions from multiple gynecologists. At the end of one of those appointments where a new GYN felt pity but offered no hope, the exchange went like this: ME: So maybe this will just become part of an intense spiritual journey or deepening maturity as I age? HIM: (laughing) Nooooooo, Michele. This is just life and suffering. Aging sucks. There’s no silver lining. If I had a pill for what you’re after, you’d be leaving with it.
Another specialist I saw explained it was useless to test my hormone levels or explore how changes could wreak havoc because “it’s a waste since at any given time, they will vary.” I read every single book and funneled my energy into a writing career.
Healing Myself With Creativity
First, I wrote about counseling and education issues for parenting magazines, then my specialty became humor pieces about living with teens. I was the hotflashing mom milking every bit of a fiery second adolescence as my wild sons navigated their first.
Creativity, friendship, and grace saved me in that long chapter. Goodness, I am grateful for the women who helped me! When I officially entered menopause in 2013 (prophylactic surgery for BRCA2+), I imagined a clean slate. Ummm. Riggggghhhhht.
What has helped beyond meditation, HRT, accupressure, and massage is sharing this menopause journey with my sister who has the same genetic mutation and opted for surgeries when I did. We have had each other’s backs since menopause was still a punchline and too ugly a word to mention in public spheres.
With her encouragement, humor, faith, and presence in my darkest hours, the suffering is lessened. Today?
The Industry of Menopauseland
Menopause is all over the news and monetized to the hilt on my social feeds. There’s a respect paid to discussions now, plenty of essays to read, accessible options for symptom-relief, ongoing medical research, and online support groups to join.
I wish this rising consciousness and advocacy had been available to me and others years ago when dismissive doctors only added to my anxiety.
The menopause journey IS an ever emotionally deepening experience even as my lines deepen and I am stretched and humbled in meaningful ways. My lines?
Healing My Over-60 Menopausal Mature Skin
I shared a few weeks ago how autoimmune disease created chaos for my mature, dry, rosacea-prone skin. Similar to how my body suddenly develops an allergy to a food I have always enjoyed, the oil-based skincare I relied upon for years became problematic (seborrheic dermatitis and severe rosacea flares). I have since learned that cream-based products are typically better for rosacea.
Fortunately I found this dermatologist-developed line with sensitive skin in mind. Have you heard of Riversol? Hypoallergenic, cruelty-free, vegan products are already helping after a week.
Their anti-aging serum is a favorite, and I’m enjoying the whole easy routine including their exfoliating glycolic peel. Psst. I’m not seeking miracles or wrinkle erasers. (I find I prefer the “before” of most injection before/afters!) I am after improved skin health and a glow.
My skin is smoother and looks dewier without any irritation or fuss, thanks to Riversol’s formulations. I’m excited to see if my uneven-ness improves in the coming weeks. I’m also relieved my skin’s moisture barrier has been restored after months of trouble and dermatology appointments. Even if you have no complaints about your skin, if you’re a fan of a spa day at home, these hydrogel masks are awesome:
The cost of products is half of what I have been paying, and since I can receive orders quickly from Amazon…bonus!
This Tray is Awesome
Do you like the new marble tray I ordered to corral these beautiful products? Everything looks and functions better when you take a little time to organize, and seeing the products means you won’t forget to use them.
The tray is one of those gorgeous accents that works in absolutely every room of the house. Here it is with dish soap in the kitchen:
Easy No Makeup Over-60 Look
You need this bronzer/blush/highlight thing from Ulta. Trust. It lasts forever and can be worn alone or with makeup.
Here are more favorites, and I now wear tinted sunscreen with SPF50 everyday.
I’m fresh out of this brand of colostrum and appreciate how it both soothes the gut and helps skin and nails.
Here’s the exact tinted sunscreen I adore on this board below:
Pin These Ridiculous Tweets & Quotes
More Menopause Laughter Medicine
Fall Cozy Favs & One-Off Humor
Thanks for reading, and for more confessional peeks with liberal sides of one-off nonsense, see this and this.
Peace to you right where you are.
-michele
Thanks for shopping RIGHT HERE to keep decor inspiration flowing on Hello Lovely!
Hello Lovely is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
