Right where I am today, the longing of my heart is to know greater wholeness; to merge with what is holy and find rest. Rest? It has been a long couple of days as we empty this house we completely renovated top to bottom. The new place is cluttered with so much stuff and dust, it is an overwhelming prospect. It’s hard to see how it will possibly become a retreat, how it will feel peaceful. But I have known this unrest and disorder before. And so I trust.
Sunday Prayer
There are simply seasons where it is far more difficult to see life as wholly sacred or to see God coming to me, as Paula D’Arcy says, disguised as my life.
What is greater wholeness?
Wholeness is (for me personally) more than a mere sense of integration.
It is about a capacity to hold paradox.
It’s about seeing how all is held together by a Great Mystery.
In order to see more clearly, I find that keeping my heart soft as well as surrendering it daily is a good start.
Call it daily transformation, daily bread, being here now, or living in prayer…but I think the main idea is to yield…
to admit I know nothing at all…
and to say YES to Presence over and over again.
For me, living in prayer does not necessarily mean conversing with God with spoken words all day. (However, in the 2020s, when my world turned upside down, living in prayer meant texting stream of consciousness prayers, sometimes through the day and night.)
Living in prayer also goes beyond carving out quantities of time for stretches of silence and meditation to simply listen.
Rather, living in prayer is about showing up in the silence.
It’s about receptivity, communion, aligning, rededicating, and returning to God again and again, no matter where the day takes me.
It is humbly (and at times, desperately) opening up my whole being and spirit to guidance as a permeable vessel to be used.
Living in prayer centers me in goodness.
It allows me to go beyond myself, step over the ego, and return my gaze to higher love.
I wonder what living in prayer looks like for you?
Because there are an infinite number of ways to practice such receptivity.
Are there rhythms built into your day to help you stay rooted in truth and awaken to the voice of Love?
I encourage you to discern with God’s help how such rhythms might shift your perspective and bring richness to your journey.
If you find that a desire for transformation seems absent, you can always seek the grace to begin desiring it.
For too many years, I didn’t understand this; I didn’t realize I could ask for grace’s help. What a turning point!
For example, what do you want? If you cannot seem to identify a core desire, you can seek the grace to help you more clearly see that desire. (And my oh my, desire is key!).
A Prayer for Us
Beautiful Shepherd of my soul, thank you for your loving invitation to join you in quiet where you are eager to meet me.
I seek the grace to become more still, more surrendered, and more permeable as I consent to your healing love.
May I let go the flurry of thoughts inevitably arising as I seek to offer you my everything.
Help me to grow into what you would have me become; guide me to speak and act with strength and wisdom.
Open my eyes to your better ways so I might live purely and abundantly with joy, with gratitude.
As I face the responsibilities set before me this day and care for others, help me to yield to you; animate all I do.
When beauty finds me this day, may I be ever aware you are shining through it.
If heartache should come, may I be ever aware you are with me and moving with me through it.
For I am never alone on this journey, oh God, and there is no place where your great love does not follow me.
May I honor and acknowledge you throughout the day and night and in so doing, see how I am loved and chosen as your child.
May I know my great worth this day and make decisions from this sacred place of dignity.
May I recognize the worth of every one of your children crossing my path and reflect your kindness and mercy.
May I align with you so frequently that I forget myself and begin to live in the heights, come what may.
I pray all of this from a humble state of unknowing and frailty, still so far from who I long to be, yet open and willing to be transformed by your touch.
AMEN.
Still with me?
Ahhhhh, good.
Because there is something so beautiful about being joined on the journey.
While I’m drawn to solitude, connection to others is so important.
And what a blessing that we are all so different and can help each other heal.
Right?
It can be challenging to sense “eternal compassion” flowing through troubled seasons.
Surely we have been challenged in fresh ways through the pandemic.
How to stay hopeful when it seems far more rational to grow cynical?
I have no snappy answers.
Only a humble sense that because we are a product of God’s great love, we are headed toward glory, not defeat.
I mean when the rose is done blooming and its petals are ready to let go, has it really disappeared or failed or lost at life?
Or has it simply transformed and shape shifted to enter a new realm of beauty recycled?
Oh, may our eyes see the glory and seek the glory when roses fade, when shadows fall.
And when shadows do fall,
please know you have a sister here in the valley who understands the sacred sufferings of life lived in the depths.
Your sister loves you.
Peace to you right where you are.
-michele
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…”let all what you do to be done in love”. This is so important and the results are always good
Author
I so agree! Thank you for adding beauty here. 🙂
Hi Michele, I loved the whole post especially your prayer! Thank you for including my floral paintings!
xoxoxo
Author
They are so meditative and prayerful, Holly. Thank you for creating with so much depth. xox
My favorite:
When beauty finds me this day, may I be ever aware you are in it all.
If heartache should come, may I be ever aware you are in it all.
Beautiful inspirational words and images. I love my daily devotional Streams In the Desert…have the book but now open it online first thing daily, and it reminds me what I need to do that day. I sometimes forget to say THANK YOU GOD or HELP ME GOD in times of beauty or heartache, and when I remember, it’s like hitting my head, DUH!! (I should have had a V8?!) So imperfectly we get to follow Him each day!!
Author
So wonderful to do those daily devotionals – and yes – we keep falling asleep and need that V8 clunk on the head! Thank you for joining me on the journey and adding so much beauty here, Carol.
What a beautiful post and exactly what I needed today to counter balance a lot of stress! I’ve been following you a long time and have found many, many great ideas that are going into my new house 🙂 Thank you.
Author
And now you’re blessing me – thanks so much for putting a smile on my face, friend. Happy new week to you.
Thanks so much for this post. I seldom comment, but your such a blessing. God has definitely brought healing words from your suffering. I pray a healing blessing over your life and mission.
Author
What a blessing it is to read your words and to feel reassured once again that God will recycle all of the unsavory, all of the pain. Nothing is lost or wasted so I need not fear how glory will eventually shine through all of the Mystery. In the process, there is so much humbling that happens, yes? To stay awake and not run or numb always takes courage, and so I’ll keep seeking the grace to be brave because left to my own devices, I will choose to sleep and will avoid pain even when I know it leads to growth. Peace to you. Thank you.
I always try to master my life not shirk. Beautiful saying on Sunday. Stay well and grateful, dear Michele
Author
Thank you, beautiful soul – for reading, for taking time to leave footprints here – for being an encourager to me. I appreciate it so much. xox
Hi Michele,
Thank you for including my paintings today and linking to the beautiful story that you wrote about me and my journey! I read it again and had forgotten how lovely your words are. You have such a gift my friend!XOXO
Holly
Author
It’s all YOU and what you inspire, Holly. Thank you for allowing yourself to be a vessel through which so much beauty can travel to the canvas, the paper, and the internet. Your work heals and blesses so many of us. xox
Beautiful and AMEN to all of it! Living in prayer…how could I live any other way?! More than anything prayer, I feel, prepares my heart. Prepares it for God’s answers/will. He is so gracious to often send answers I desire but even when not, my heart thru prayer & by His grace & mercy is more enabled to receive His will. Thanks for sharing your heart & soul with us & ALWAYS encouraging us!
Author
What a wonderful testimony, Amy. I love what you’re expressing about preparation. Yes. It’s capacity I so often need, and what a miracle when it comes. Thank you for your tender heart and for reading as my fried. xox
Thank You, again. Just what I needed today! Better than church!!! Gods Blessings to you along your journey and so glad you share.
I can’t wait to see your new house. Any Ideas when we can see pix?
Author
So wonderful to hear! Have a lovely week, Lee.
Author
It shouldn’t be too much longer. We have been tearing things apart so you can imagine the “during pictures” are not pretty or pinworthy or terribly helpful. My main challenge is time. Moving and renovating at the same time while working is for the birds! 🙂
Your words are beautiful, Michelle. Thank you. I loved that you said living in prayer does not mean conversing with God with the spoken word all day. And… That is goes beyond carving out quantities of time for stretches of sillence and meditation to simply listen. I agree. Developing a good relationship with God is somewhat like it is with a person. When we’re interested, we take the time to observe them and we speak with them to get to know them. (Study the Bible) We share who we are with them and listen to their thoughts (Prayer) We also need the wisdom to separate their friends from their foes, so we aren’t deceived by smooth talking gossips. (The culture) To me, living a life of prayer is living a life focused on the most valuable relationship possible for me, my relationship with God, and it takes time and energy and action… Especially when’s He’s pointing me in a direction I’d rather not go at the moment. That’s when the wisdom to know that he’s God and I’m not, makes me humble enough and strong enough to follow.
Author
What beauty and wisdom you are expressing so tenderly. Thank you, friend.