By now, you perhaps guessed my family and I have been recovering from the virus. I snapped these photos in February when we were in my happy place: Oahu’s North Shore. I am only now coming up for air as I sort through images of: lovely Laysan albatrosses, the Hawaiian landscape that inspires me, and the calm before the storm.
This afternoon, I sat down at the piano and sang my heart out. It was an act of worship and also defiance since it’s nearly impossible to sing with a persistent cough.
After isolation in March, assorted traumas in spring, fighting flares of a rare GI illness, grieving a family member lost to Covid, and caring for a son who grew critically ill in July (read about it here), I tested positive for the virus a few weeks ago.
We quarantined and did our best to protect our vulnerable son (like the adorably fluffy albatross chick with whom I shared a moment), who grew ill from the virus first before I developed symptoms followed by my husband.
It is mind boggling to think ours are considered “mild cases.” In fact, there were days that stretched long like living nightmares, and my eyes were sore and swollen from weeping.
There were moments the seas were so stormy we nearly called 911, moments even in the last week where I wasn’t sure my son nor I could treat our symptoms at home and remain hydrated.
In fact, I have never fought an illness quite like Covid, and it’s only now as I type these words that I am experiencing the very first moments of hope. It feels as though there is a rainbow in sight and I have possibly turned the corner.
My symptoms are easy to describe: I have them ALL except fever and blistery toes. My doctor says the cough may hang on for six weeks.
Maybe because of my pancreatic illness, the GI symptoms have been especially brutal.
Over the decades, I have learned to eat and hydrate to fuel my body, no matter the pain and symptoms, as a matter of survival. Today is the first day I tolerated food, and I’m so thankful!
Our son has been living moment to moment and fighting to get well. He makes us so proud. So many terrifying days and nights of suffering for our boy. How I wish I could bear it all.
What a blessing my husband has experienced milder symptoms and is able to make continued progress on the condo renovation for our son. His strength is dazzling.
Like a lot of of folks, I lost my sense of smell and taste, but that is the easiest part. The worst part of living with Covid these past weeks has been the emotional and mental anguish. I cannot recall ever feeling this irritable, bankrupt of all joy and hope, and experiencing such intensely low lows.
I remain concerned for my brothers and sisters around the globe who may suffer through dangerous levels of despair. Will I be able to help with relief efforts when I recover? It pains me to imagine anyone fighting through the devastation and sitting in the fire alone.
When we first suspected our son was sick with the virus, I was beside myself since his immune system is compromised as he fights disease. I texted my friend Nancy, pleading for a word from God. Her response came swiftly:
Isaiah 43:2…”When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.”
I accepted this scripture into the fibers of my being as a sort of mysterious armor. What a blessing to receive Living Words when you’re desperate for them. I suppose it is what I always hope to do with words in a small way here, never knowing specific needs or battles being fought.
Thank you for keeping me and the family in your prayers.
Where would I be without faith and the support of faithful friends? Without a God of wonders who whispers into my weakness, ‘I am your ocean…float your cares on me, daughter.’ And without the divine spark glowing within and guiding my flight beyond this desolation?
The mystery continues, and I have no idea what the future holds. There will surely be more fire, yet I will not be set ablaze. The events of the last few months have transformed me and my loved ones in important ways I cannot yet describe.
My prayer is simply to grow in humility, to reflect beauty, and to soften rather than become cynical or jaded.
I pray the days are more gentle with you.
My prayer for each of you is to recover extra reserves of strength and courage as more complicated times enfold.
I am holding on to hope as my wings strengthen, sending blessing, and ever pointing to what is everlasting.
Peace to you right where you are.
-michele
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Michele I am sitting here in disbelief, as I can not imagine the battles you had to fight. I know you are not alone in your battles, and yet the lessons are yours alone, except for the graciousness you always share with us. My heart is hurting for you, my soul is praying for you. I know you will get through this and the wonder of it all is how you learn and how you share. I am so very sorry that your family has yet another very serious illness to deal with. I pray for your strength and your recovery and the same for your husband and your beautiful boy. Much love and prayers my friend.
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It just couldn’t be a more dramatic chapter, Kathy. Thank you for your prayers as we heal. Beauty for ashes is what we desire. xox
Love sent
Philippians 4:13
I can ALL things through Christ who gives me strength
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Thank God he is a loving God and so generously gives strength! Thank you for the love.
I weep every time I read your post….for your family and what you have been through and for a wondrous sprit of faith….Thank you Father God for your continued Blessings on this family and thank you for Michele’s ability to share with others the single most important thing…a love and belief in your most gracious being! I ask that your bright light of healing burn through these plagues of illness! Let your holy spirit and Christ Jesus continue to hold them close, Father God, so they always know your peace that surpasses all understanding!
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Your tears are holy and beautiful. Thank you for joining us in the battle and calling upon Jesus, the sweetest name I know. Peace to you.
This whole post is heartbreaking….we literally have nothing without our health….I’m so very sorry you and your family have had to endure this dreadful disease. I hope it leaves your body very soon❤️🙏🏻
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It is a vicious illness I hope to never fight again, Sherry! My heart goes out to everyone fighting, and I know your recent health scare was the dickens too. Thank you so much for the love. xox
Thank you – just Thank you…..those words of encouragement from someone who knows is received this morning
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Thank you for blessing me with presence, with love, with wholeheartedness. Peace to you.
Thank you for sharing your experience and for giving us hope. I can only imagine the impact of this virus. Please continue you to take good care of yourself and your family. Many wishes and prayers for strength and a complete recover.
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Oh I do want to spread hope and peace! If at all possible, it is what I desire. And I think my faith wavers, but our God does not so I can rest in such truth and not be in charge. We dedicated our son to God when he was a baby, and we also know that who our son is (beautiful and holy) has been hidden with Christ since the beginning of time. At times like this, all of those precious moments and gestures from your faith tradition take on fresh meaning and begin to humble you in new ways.
I am so sorry for you & your family. I love all your posts. Words of wisdom always makes me smile.
How is your son doing? Being a parent, your interest is always in your child.
I’m glad your husband had a mild case of the virus.
How are you feeling? I can’t imagine how awful you must have felt especially with the GI problem. I too have GI issues.
God bless you & your family, but you know he already has.
Much love,
Rose
Author
Thank you for your loving words and concern. Our son is fighting through Covid in a similar way that I am, and we have the same symptoms so the coughing, exhaustion, diarrhea and GI problems persist. Fortunately, he is not small like me! I feel that I am improving in terms of the mental anguish, and I see healing happening with him. The blood disorder has overwhelmed his whole body so like me, he requires much rest and sleep. He is not able to go to work since even small chores or a phone call can exhaust. It will take months of rest and resolve and grace, and we feel so blessed to be upheld in prayer.
Wow, what a picture of strength and faith in the midst of the storm! I have only been following you a short time but have soooo inspired and have enjoyed your insight (design wise and spiritually). I have tears in my eyes reading today’s post – you help bring light into a dark world, Michele. You have another prayer warrior on your team today. May the Lord multiply His grace and peace to you and your family!
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What a gift are your words and your willingness to fight for us. Thank you, friend, for finding me and lifting my spirits.
This is a shocking post. i am so sorry. i can’t imagine what you’ve been going thru. i don’t know how you ever kept up this blog. it’s a testimony to your resolve. Your family and you will be in my prayers. One thing this post did teach me is that I have gotten too casual about this disease! I also don’t really believe it’s natural, it’s just odd. so sorry. Meg
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Thank you for the compassion and honesty, Meg. I think the daily chores the blog brings have helped me to retain a bit of normalcy and continuity in the midst of chaos. And as I live in a surrendered way right now, I try to allow the Father to animate my being. I think it is the secret to moving forward without fear. When the divine is doing the animating, there simply is no fear which can trip us up, create resistance, and overwhelm with despair.
I look at you with compession but I also know you are strong enough to go through this terrible time because you are a believer. I had not a strong C19 virus in February but I still suffer on mucigenous caugh and tiredness. Now
my GP prescript me a high dose of Vit.D3, Zinc and ReMag (fluidy magnesium). Hope it will be better soon.
Take care dear Michelle and all the best for you and your family.
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Thank you for this encouragement. Very uplifting to hear you recovered from this. I also take vit D, zinc, and magnesium along with many supplements since I don’t absorb nutrients from my diet well. I think the coughing is what exhausts me more than anything right now – looking forward to peaceful days ahead.
My sister had covid over mother’s day and is now much better but the shortness of breath and the cough lasted for weeks. I hope you feel better soon
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That is great news to hear – all of the recovery stories are uplifting. Thank you for your kindness and friendship.
Praying for God’s peace to all of your family. Praying for complete healing in Jesus name Amen
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Thank you for your faithful support and prayer – oh what golden incense traveling to heaven are these prayers from His people. What a blessing for me today.
I have just read in shock. Praying for you and your family!
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We are so grateful for your prayer. We count every single one as a great gift that we don’t deserve. This is what it is to live in Grace. xox
Oh my goodness. The strength and grace with which you have endured so much speaks volumes to your faith. May you all continue to heal and become stronger. Prayers as always sent your way.
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Thank you for this, and thank you for prayers for my strength. I’m so weak, and it feels as though I am sleeping my life away. Any strength is from the Lord. xox
Michele, I’m sadden to heard about your family’s suffering AND very happy that you are coming out of it. Our gospel reading at church yesterday was about Job’s sufferings. Like he, you are keeping the faith!
And on top of all of everything else, there is contact tracing. How does that work in your area?
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I feel like all of us are very attuned to Job right now during the pandemic, yes? And when we can find ourselves in these souls who went before us, it is a little less traumatic, a little less lonely. Thank you, friend. I do not know how contact tracing works locally – only that the health department was in touch and thorough in their interviews. You can imagine how the health department was in touch when this whole ordeal began with my son’s E coli infection which came from a local restaurant – just a disaster.
My heart melts in my heavenly Father’s hands for you and your precious family…I have no words…
The Lord bless you and keep you;
The Lord make his face shine on you
and be gracious to you;
The Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.
Numbers 6:24-26
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Oh, my. Oh, my. Thank you for the Word which is honey to me. What a blessing.
Praying for you and your husband and your precious son. You are a shinning light sharing your soul. Thank you, for you are a beautiful inspiration to your readers………Continue to shine as you heal.
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Your prayers and the Father’s love are sustaining us. To be honest, I am not sure how this journey is inspiring anyone since we are simply muddling through. If there is light radiating from this chapter – it is all the Lord and His goodness. Thank you.
I have been praying for you and your precious family. I’m so sorry that you are going through this! 2020 has been such a difficult year for everyone—and you have had more than your fair share. I’m grateful for your post and your ability to share your story. It is truly inspiring. Ultimately, God is in control He will never leave your side or abandon you and your family. My favorite Bible verse is Phillipeans 4:8 — it came to my mind while reading your post. It reminds me of your attitude of seeing beauty while in the eye of the storm. Wishing you strength, peace and abundance of love as you continue on your journey.
And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. ❤️🙏🏻❤️
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YES. Amen. Fix your thoughts on what is lovely. There are moments during this illness that I do not even feel at home in my mind, and I must ask for a new one. Thank God these promises are true and trustworthy when my own faculties are not! Thank you, friend, for this encouragement.
So, so sorry. You and your family have really been through it. I admire your spirit and am praying for better times ahead.
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We just keep moving forward toward wellness. Thank you for your support.
I’m so, so sorry to hear you are suffering through Covid. I fervently hope your son is able to fight off this terrible virus and return to good health. I know the fear you are experiencing, as my son had cancer. You want to take it on yourself but you can’t, and it breaks your heart. I’m sending love and good wishes your way. 🙏🏼
Blessings,
~Joanna
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Thank you so much, Joanna. Life just stops when your child is not well – thank you for joining me. So grateful for the prayers on his behalf – he is such an incredible human being – just sunshine who blesses everyone around him. We are grateful for the encouragement. xox
Praying for you and family. I have health issues and have tired so hard to be cautious. Thank you for sharing with us. A lot of people don’t understand the issues the immunodeficiency folks have. Continue to get better. I am so sorry for the loss of your family member. Much love and continued health.
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I appreciate it and am thinking of you in your vulnerability. We need everyone on board with wearing masks properly and consistently – even and especially on car rides with folks who don’t live with us. I don’t want anyone to experience these days we have faced. Peace to you, friend.
Hi dear Michelle! here from Buenos Aires , Argentina, always following your letters, and praying for all of you.
My husband and I also got sick with COVID, we got it from my mother in law’s nurse.
We were home isolated for 20 days, thank God we ha mild synthoms, but AFTER 1 month I started losing weight, a LOT. Never stopped eating or anything, my appetite was always normal, so I just want to tell you, stay CALM.
I almost lost my mind thinking I had some serious disease after COVID. But NO. I just finished ALL my tests( MANY) and I´m fine, just have to start taking MANY vitamins which I lost during trhe disease, and hopefully will recover my strenghth and most of all my emotional strenghth hopefully. Like you I am a very sensitive person, and during and after having gone through Covid, I’m even worse!!!!!!!! I cry for no reason, but PRAY as YOU do.
My prayers , love, light and strenght travel there to you and your boy!!!!!!!!!!! BIG HUGE hugs to you, stay CALM and TRUST!, love Monica
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So glad to hear you are recovering. I am hoping that with the millions around the globe who have become ill and many of whom have the mental anguish, somehow loving compassion will rise through our lands. Surely there are lots of folks deepening in important ways from the intense lows the illness brings. Thank you for the love and encouragement, friend. I agree that calm is so important – the inner resistance that so often arises needs to be kept in check. Fear needs to be kicked to the curb. 🙂
The Native American saying, “The soul would have no rainbow if the eyes had no tears,” has always provided me with courage in all instances and I am sure that you and your family have gained the needed courage these past, difficult months to regain your health. Like your and others’ families in this country and around the world, we must all come together for each other to stamp out COVID-19. I pray that you and your family will continue to heal. — Just know that “Hello Lovely” has been and will continue to be a bright light for many of us in our darkest hours. Un fuerte abrazo, T
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What a balm and a beautiful rainbow your words are to me this instant. Thank you. Thank you. I feel so blessed and upheld by kindred souls who extend a healing energy over fiber optics somehow. I don’t need to understand the mechanics, the underlying structures which connect our energies, I only want to be open to receive the glory of it all. The healing within it all. Oh, that our lands might come together as a result of the suffering!
Michele, I am so sorry . Good heavens I can’t believe this. I’m glad that you’re able to finally eat but you must be so weak. Please know how much your followers care about you. I pray for you every day and I will definitely add your son and husband to my list.
❤️❤️❤️
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Thank you – I know I hated to share this awful chapter because we haven’t been confident that my son and I would be able to survive this vicious virus. I knew it would be challenging, but somehow all fear was gone so that I have been able to focus on the nitty gritty. Like eating and hydrating and monitoring and being extra gentle. I could only tell all of you when I felt we were turning a corner and maybe going to make it. 🙂
I join the rest of your readers in praying for a swift recovery from Covid for you and your family. May Your days be filled with more and more joy and peace that our loving Lord is carrying you all right now. You are a blessing to so many. And an inspiration!
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Thank you so much for lifting us in prayer, for visiting me, and for blessing me. It has been a long hard day of weakness, and I am desperate for healing to come. xox
Like the others, I have been praying for you and your family. You are a very beautiful person in every way and you give so much inspiration to others. Thank you for being the lovely person you are. Continuous prayers for you and your family.
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I’m so grateful for these prayers. Today was a hard day, friend. I have such deep needs right now and appreciate the faithfulness and encouragement.
Michele, I can’t believe this. I’m so sorry. My goodness I never suspected you were sick, and with Covid of all things. I came by to check on your son and now I need to check on you and your husband’s health. I’m So glad you’re eating and gaining strength, you’re such a tiny thing. And thank goodness your husband got a milder version of Covid, if he’s still able to work on your son’s place. It’s baffling how some people’s bodies manage to remain fairly stoic in the face of these symptoms. I will be sending healing energy and lots of love to your entire family.
Love you!
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Thanks, Leslie. I hope you are well. Our health journeys have unfortunately taken a very dangerous turn. We are so glad that my husband is faring better – he keeps inspiring us with the progress at the condo he makes even though he is far from 100% recovered. It is also encouraging that Luke’s girlfriend remains symptom free and negative. We invited her to stay after the exposure in order to keep her family safe and she must work from home a few more days according to protocol. She is this source of positive energy and calm in our home, and we feel so blessed. Thank you for sending healing energy – today was a very challenging one, but we are holding on to hope that Luke will overcome these battles and not go back to normal but become something brand new. There has been more mental anguish from the virus than I can say. I have to believe we are deepening and growing in compassion and truth.
Oh my goodness, Michele. My heart goes out to you & your dear family with yet another wave of health issues bearing down on y’all. I will ramp up my already continued prayers for healing on every level for each one of you & for grace, mercy, & comfort from our Heavenly Father. “Blessed be the God & Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the FATHER OF MERCIES & GOD OF ALL COMFORT, who comforts us in ALL OUR AFFLICTION, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.” 2 Cor 1:3-5 Grateful for your shining light in the midst of everything!
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Thank you, Amy. What a beautiful prayer and scripture for us that I am grateful for. To share in Christ’s suffering means everything right now – He dignified it all. To be reassured by his humanity in Gethsemane and his courage on the cross…these assurances keep me company as I recover. Maybe it is just semantics, but I am soothed by emphasizing the recovery (and I suppose resurrection to come) rather than the battle and fighting. I am striving to minimize all inner resistance and shoo away all fear so that all of my energies may be focused on the light of the world who animates my being.
Oh, Michele, on top of everything else, COVID. I can’t imagine, and your strength is inspiring. Praying for you and yours. Know that you are an encouragement to me and many others! xo
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Thank you, Pam. I don’t know how I could possibly inspire anyone in my current condition. Honestly just muddling through and limping along. I appreciate the prayers and need em! 🙂
Michele,
Oh my dear friend. I can’t imagine how you are dealing with covid along with all of the other issues you have endured. My Mom always says, the Lord will only give you what you can handle, I pray that he gives you the strength to come through this as well. Many blessing to you and your son and your husband. I know the Lord is watching over you and giving you the strength you need.
Hugs,
Bev
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Thank you, Bev. I don’t know if he gives us what we can handle as much as promises to be in it with us, and I’m so grateful for his daily presence as we all try to heal and move through these challenges. I’m weak but still feisty and trying to keep my sense of humor. Thanks for the support. 🙂