Spoiler alert. You don’t need a permission slip from me to chill this Christmas, to tread more lightly this year. Are you kidding? I am one of the most hopelessly inconsistent, least-credentialed Christmas chillers in holy day history.
Permission to Chill this Christmas?
Reflections from a Recovering Perfectionist
Intensely mixed feelings swirl up in here every November. But if you think a permission slip might help you, I have extras.
Also, don’t be a hater. If hustle, expense, big feels, and tinsel overload bring out the best in you, YOU DO YOU.
![Frida Kahlo endurance quote on Hello Lovely. #strugglequotes #artistquotes](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/hello-lovely-studio-green-quote-frida-kahlo-endurance.jpg)
to endure ______, does that mean I have to endure it? I’m vast. What if I change my mind instead?
As for me (and a messy midlife journey to unburden what can be unburdened within this inner landscape), chillin’ feels kind.
![Cozy winter bedroom decorated for holidays in rustic cottage - @sehomes. #cozywinter #cozychristmas #wintervibes](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/0001-@sehomes-cozy-christmas-winter-bedroom-cabin.jpg)
Feels like sweet freedom from a cage of culture-imposed holiday anxiety.
Opting out of the rush and excess reduces the impulse to compare my Christmas snapshots to yours. (Not a small thing in an age of social media.)
![Fanciful Christmas cake decorated with edible pinecones, holly, and boughs - AVeryMerryChristmasWorld on Tumblr. #christmasbaking #christmascake](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/0001-@averymerrychristmasworld-christmas-cake-fanciful.jpg)
Will Embracing Calm Be Popular With Family?
Wait. If I’m not freaking about decorations, perfect gifts, and the trappings, am I even a good parent/friend/partner embodying a spirit of gracious giving?
![Cozy Christmas image with hand holding small snow globe with tiny tree @ChristmasXmas. #cozychristmas #snowglobes #wintervibes](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/0001-@christmasxmas-little-snow-globe-tree-winter-snow.jpg)
It’s a personal question only you can truly answer by searching your heart.
![Beautiful white cow - @farmhouselove.tumblr. #wintercozy #farmanimals](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/0001-@farmhouselove-cow-cozy-winter.jpg)
Where does my responsibility to create a magical season of celebration begin and end? Will the magic not happen if I bring a spirit of calm spaciousness to it rather than emotional fatigue or frazzled desperation?
![Serene white bench and mirror with winter holiday decor - Hello Lovely Studio. Come be calmed by How to Freak Less About Holidays, Decorating and Gifts as well as Entertaining.](https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-BLz9M6f6Uzc/WFSk1OndGFI/AAAAAAAAj1s/ev6Kd6xRRK0MjCKS4d5o_rJEedqmo351ACLcB/s1600/2016-12-16%2B13.51.32.jpg)
Won’t family and friends benefit from my presence if my nervous system is better regulated?
![Beautiful reindeer with sleigh on country path in snowy woods - via Farmhouse Touches. #cozychristmas #snowywoods #reindeer](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/0001-@farmhouselove-reindeer-sleds-snowy-winter-cozy-christmas.jpg)
What underlies the pressures I feel each year to top last year’s festivities and to at all costs, impress, please, and make the days count?
![White natural European inspired Christmas decor on fireplace and mantel with joy wreath and stockings - Hello Lovely Studio. #christmasdecor #christmasfireplace #scandichristmas #frenchchristmas](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/0001-hello-lovely-studio-christmas-decor-joy-wreath-french-fireplace-living-room.jpg)
Permission to Chill, Let Go & Allow Magic to Appear
For me, there’s this fear that if I’m not laboring and worrying about holiday trappings, the magic won’t be there. It’s hard to let go of: traditions that no longer fit, cultural pressures to perform, and even dreams of “the perfect family Christmas.” I guess it’s hard to trust that it will all be enough in spite of letting go.
![Encouragement quote from Ann Voskamp on Hello Lovely Studio. #inspirationaquotes #annvoskamp #faithquote #godquote](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/0001-inspirational-quote-black-on-hello-lovely-studio-ann-voskamp-become-place-for-God.jpg)
It? Wait a sec. What is “it?”
![Winter squirrel in tree with snow - Soosseli Wildlife Photography. #squirrellover #winterwonderland #woodlandcreatures](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/001-soosseli-wildlife-squirrel-winter.jpg)
Because it seems to me unraveling the “it” is important. For me, I think IT is the connection and unity felt each year on a holy day where our hearts are open to receive the light, the Good News.
![Funny quote about midlife on Hello Lovely Studio. #funnyquotes #humorquotes](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/funny-humor-quote-hello-lovely-studio-1970.jpg)
Chillin’ feels radical and subversive!
![Naked layer Christmas cake with deer on a rustic wood slice - FullCravings on Tumblr. #christmascake #nakedcake #cozychristmas #rusticchristmas](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/0001-@fullcravings-cozy-christmas-naked-cake-rustic-layer-deer.jpg)
Which is why it is so important to sink into your heart for such matters. Are there stirrings there to slow down and savor rather than speedily subscribe to spectacle? Is something new and loving trying to be born? Will you prepare room for the new?
![Cozy Christmas mug of hot cocoa with marshmallows, red and white stripe straw and candy canes - Happy Wife Life on Tumblr. #cozychristmas #hotcocoa #wintervibes](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/0001-@happy-wife-life-hot-cocoa-candy-canes-cozy-christmas.jpg)
What does free, wild, unburdened movement through seasons look like when I am audacious enough to offer my YES to what feels most true rather than “true enough?”
![Lovely holiday window box in London with ivy wreath, white mums, and lemony cypress - photo by Hello Lovely Studio. #holidaywindowbox #windowbox #holidaygreenery #holidaywindow](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/hello-lovely-london-cypress-window-box.jpg)
Letting Go of Old Holiday Stories
I’m suddenly aware of how my journey with chronic illness and pain magnifies how we prize hustle culture, the American dream, and “shiny happy families at Christmas.”
![Fifi O'Neill's pastel and white Christmas ethereal style in her own home. #pastelchristmas #whitechristmasdecor](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/fifi-oneill-pastel-christmas-002.jpeg)
Without my poor health and failures, would I be as emboldened to challenge the status quo and imagine a new picture of happy holidays?
![Hello Lovely Christmas wreath at kitchen sink window 2019](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/2019-thanksgiving-hello-lovely-studio-022.jpg)
After all, it feels as though the culture still claims: if you don’t have good health, what do you even have? I can’t begin to tell you how much hurt, fear, and shame is perpetrated by this widely accepted sentiment.
![Poignant meaning of life quote by Richard Feynman on Hello Lovely Studio. #lifequotes #poignantquotes](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/001-poignant-life-quote-richard-feynman-hello-lovely-studio.jpg)
It suggests human frailty and even aging are remarkable and to be feared, not honored. It links poor health to scarcity.
Even more confusing is how the same culture seems to make it difficult to eat well, age well, afford health care, and work a health-honoring schedule.
![Hello Lovely holiday 2019](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/2019-thanksgiving-hello-lovely-studio-015.jpg)
But I’ll tell you what you can have with poor health, friends.
Vision, wisdom, patience, mercy, compassion, love, integrity, creativity, intelligence, joy, generosity, adventure, fruitfulness, hope, beauty, courage, imagination, dignity, ambition, humor, gratitude, heartfulness, strength, and wholeness.
Poor health will not lock you out of Eden or automatically bankrupt you of these things.
![Funny Christmas quote on Hello Lovely Studio. #christmashumor #holidayquote #funnyquotes #humorquotes](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/funny-christmas-quote-hello-lovely-studio-unrealistic-twelve-days.jpg)
Permission Slip for Holiday Chill
Goodness, I just typed a diatribe to express this:
You and yours are free to embody and welcome calm this Christmas. Free to choose how a joyous December and magical holiday will feel, sound, taste and look.
![Gingerbread cupcakes decorated for holidays - AllThingsChristmasandWinter. #cozychristmas #christmasbaking #gingerbread](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/0001-@allthingschristmasandwinter-gingerbread-cupcakes.jpg)
Search your heart and soul to discern where you will give your YES and where you will give your NO.
![Funny quote and life humor on Hello Lovely Studio. #funnyquotes #humorquote #sillyquotes](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/funny-life-quote-hello-lovely-studio-life-is-exactly-chess.jpg)
Choose what fits you right where you are, not where you were back then or where you’ll be next year.
![White Christmas decor in a modern French dining room with white roses and fresh greenery - Pamela Pierce for Milieu magazine. #christmasdecor #frenchcountry #elegantchristmasdecor](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/pamela-pierce-white-modern-French-christmas-decor-milieu-001-1.jpg)
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Try These Chill Strategies
Here are ways I have calmed down my holiday frenzy to welcome a chilled holiday.
1. I Decorate When I Feel Like It
I put up the tree for Thanksgiving but still haven’t decorated it. When the time feels right, I’ll embellish it. Or maybe the little white lights will be enough. And maybe it will stay up through January if we have a lot of grey days since it adds such cozy factor.
I’m thinking about limiting my color palette to white. Yesterday I put on a favorite podcast and began creating lovely white paper bag snowflakes. You can find instructions on youtube, and maybe I’ll share my method. (But maybe not…pacing myself doncha know).
![French country white Christmas decor in a historic living room in Spain - El Mueble. #christmasdecor #whitechristmas #frenchcountry #holidaydecorating](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/white-christmas-decor-romantic-spain-house-el-mueble-13-cake-kitchen.jpg)
Ditch the Facade That Decking the Halls is Easy or Fun
If you didn’t guess it, I’m very sorry to reveal to you that the first rule of INFLUENCER 101 seems to be MAKE IT ALL LOOK EASY. And also to say “enjoy the process” like a lot. I mean, if a content creator wants you to buy the thing, make the thing, or use the thing, the content will suggest it’s all very manageable and mostly tidy. And it often appears easy when it’s hard work.
![Sweet and petite simple gingerbread house cottage upon a jadeite cake pedestal - Design Improvised. #gingerbreadhouse #christmasdiy #holidaybaking](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/design-improvised-gingerbread-house-on-jadeite-pedestal.jpg)
Decorating rooms, trees, porches, and cookies can be highly enjoyable with rich payoffs, but it is often not easy. So you don’t have to make it look easy or think you should be able to do all the things quickly and smoothly. Pace yourself. Make it more pleasant with Christmas music or while watching a movie. Treat yourself. Ask for help. Delegate. Curse as necessary. Or skip it because your energy is needed elsewhere.
![Inspiring quote from Anne Lamott - come be calmed by How to Freak Less About Holidays, Decorating and Gifts as well as Entertaining. #quotes #annlamott](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/000001-anne-lamott-quote-almost-everything-will-work-hello-lovely-studio-aqua.jpg)
2. Decorate With Food
I don’t think I’m inventing anything new here, but why do we forget that we can fill up our own senses by cooking and baking delicious holiday treats that can also serve as decoration? No need to be a pastry chef or to even spend hours watching youTubes. You can even buy a grocery store cake or cookies and place them on pretty pedestals. BUY LOTS OF FRUIT EVEN IF YOU DON’T PLAN TO EAT THE FRUIT. Bowls of green apples or clementines look festive everywhere. If you won’t be eating them, use them for a simmer on the stove before they go bad.
![Funny quote and life humor on Hello Lovely Studio. #funnyquotes #humorquote #sillyquotes](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/funny-humor-quote-hello-lovely-studio-synonym-rolls-.jpg)
Not crazy about gingerbread house making?
Make a candy house or buy gingerbread cookies to decorate a Christmas tree.
![Chocolate bar candy gingerbread house with Kitkat and Hershey - MyCupcakeAddiction. #gingerbreadhouses #christmasbaking #candyhouses #chocolatehouses #chocolatelovers #holidaybaking #holidaycrafts](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/gingerbread-house-chocolate-candy-christmas-house-hersheys-kitkat-mycupcakeaddiction.jpg)
![Ingredients for chocolate bar candy gingerbread house by My Cupcake Addiction. #gingerbreadhouses #chocolatehouses #candyhouses #holidaybaking #holidaytreats](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/gingerbread-house-chocolate-candy-christmas-house-hersheys-kitkat-mycupcakeaddiction-2.jpg)
Even jars of this with a pretty ribbon qualify as decoration!
3. Deck Just One Room
The Kringle police are not going to make an arrest should you choose to just make one room or one corner of a room holiday-ready.
![Nordic French Christmas decor in a living room with sheer curtains and all white decor - My Petite Maison. #frenchnordicchristmas #scandichristmas #swedishchristmas](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/mypetitemaison-white-nordic-French-christmas-tree.jpg)
If you have a fireplace, maybe that will be the only holiday moment. And maybe just maybe it will encourage you to relax more in front of it as it welcomes you with cheer.
![Beautiful faux evergreen garland on white brick holiday fireplace - Francoi et Moi. #fireplace #manteslcape #holidaydecor #garland](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/francois-et-moi-holiday-fireplace-decor.jpg)
If you are one fireplace short, maybe just a single shelf.
![Romantic and rustic fireplace with greenery and candles - Happywedd. #fireplacedecor #romanticdecor](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/happywedd-romantic-candlelight-fireplace-1.jpg)
4. Light Candles
If your holiday decorating stress comes from being the one responsible for creating the magical backdrop for memories, think candles.
![Beautiful natural and rustic country French farmhouse Christmas tablescape. #holidaytable #frenchcountry #frenchchristmas #christmasdecor](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/boxwoodavenue-country-french-farmhouse-christmas-table-decor.jpg)
Could lighting candles eliminate the need for hours of housework? ALL THE YEPS. If you’re entertaining, skip the deep clean until AFTER the shindig. Turn the lights low and light those candles everywhere, you relaxed maker of Christmas magic!
![Funny Christmas quote on Hello Lovely Studio. #christmashumor #holidayquote #funnyquotes #humorquotes](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/funny-christmas-quote-hello-lovely-studio-coal.jpg)
Here are the votives I always have on hand.
![Royal Imports Votive Candles Bulk Set of 36. Come be calmed by How to Freak Less About Holidays, Decorating and Gifts as well as Entertaining.](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/61uixJ0NJwL._SX679_.jpg)
![Funny Christmas quote on Hello Lovely Studio. #christmashumor #holidayquote #funnyquotes #humorquotes](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/funny-christmas-humor-quote-hello-lovely-studio-noel.jpg)
Need an easy holiday get together idea? For an easy dessert and no baking, buy a plain cheesecake from your favorite restaurant or bakery. Buy a few topping options, and everyone can enjoy their favorite. In lieu of a full bar or a bunch of booze shopping, serve this as a cocktail and mocktail:
![Delicious cocktail or mocktail idea for Thanksgiving with apples and cranberries - sangria recipe from Delish. #sangria #thanksgivingrecipes #thanksgivingmenu #applecranberry](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/cranberry-apple-sangria-delish-thanksgiving-cocktail.jpg)
5. Ease Gift Giving Stress With a Theme
It keeps me organized when I come up with a theme for gifts. Even a broad category such as ‘gourmet gifts’ or ‘custom photo gifts’ or ‘puzzles’ can simplify the shopping.
![Minted Holiday Favorites](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/hello-lovely-loves-minted-banner.jpg)
![Budget Lovely Gifts on Hello Lovely Studio](https://www.hellolovelystudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/7-sweet-gifts-under-40-hello-lovely-studio-banner.jpg)
Is this the PERFECT one size fits all GIFT for every human on your list?
Even freakouts can be endearing and slightly festive:
Peace to you right where you are.
-michele
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Amen sister ! Stop the insanity – sometimes you just have to be still.
Author
You make such an important point. Why is it so difficult to be still and to know in these modern days? Who would have guessed attention spans could shrink more than they had say at the dawn of television? There is such anxiety about a slow pace and rest in this upside down world. Online behavior has changed in the last couple of years too. It used to be that long blog posts were rewarded by Google and were given authority, and now? It seems those same posts need to be 75% shorter. The landscape is ever changing, and I am compelled to become centered in the everlasting where all the fruit is. xox
Love this so much! Thank you for your beautiful and mindful insights…I look forward to them daily! The images aren’t so bad either:)
Author
Thank you for being here – your kind reading with tenderness means so much. Happy December, friend. 🙂
I loved this post. Lots of things to think about. I especially enjoy the quotes in your squares.
Peace to you where you are, too.
Author
So glad you liked the quotes – do pin them to Pinterest to spread the love. 🙂
Such a beautiful post. I recently had back surgery and won’t be decorating for Christmas. You gave me so many things to think about, and how I’m going to make this the best Christmas with just my two sons. Thank you for your blog. I enjoy it very much, but reading this today, and all the beautiful pictures (and I pinned a lot!), was just a sweet gift. Merry Christmas to you and your family, and to all your readers!
Author
Sending healing wishes and prayers that your back heals as it should. I’m so happy to hear this post helped – I am so delighted you are here with me on the journey. Merry Christmas, friend.
I was just feeling how inadequate my porch feels after reading a couple of friends posts. But now I think that it is good enough!
“Could lighting candles eliminate the need for hours of housework?” HAHAHa. I am a big believer in candles too…and boxed votives ARE really great to have on hand.
Merry Christmas, Michele.
Author
Thanks so much for adding to this conversation, friend. You’d feel better about your porch if you saw mine. Still have to finish the planters and get some twinkling lights in them. I am forever saved by candlelight. 🙂
Michele, I have said this for years, you are AMAZING! Your light and love in the face of not only the adversity in the world but that you face on a daily basis it what keeps me and so many others going. Your hard work and wisdom, peace, perseverance, joy, tenacity and kindness to all who visit are like a gift. THANK YOU for being you and for saying what so many others won’t say in this consumer driven, crazy rush to the perfection of Christmas.
Author
You’re so kind to me. The crazy rush. Yes. As I age, it just all becomes clearer that God comes to us disguised as our very lives (that’s how Paula D’Arcy put it). How can I not begin to feel warmth for the very ailments and daily suffering when I recognize the gifts arising in the slowed pace, the unsavory appearance, and the limited functioning? Without such slowing and humility, I am prone to rush through my days feeling puffed up about productivity, my creations, and the riches OUT THERE, not the shimmering glory that deepens r i g h t h e r e. Becoming permeable so the light may radiate to hearts I may never know is the fruit of such slowing and deepening. Some folks show up here to find out where my sofa came from and leave with an inspirational quote resonating with their spirit. And others come looking for an uplifting spiritual growth quote and leave with a cute necklace from J. Crew. In a sense, it’s like stopping at a local shop and having a conversation that touches you. xox
I’m someone who’s a blogger and suffers from MS. Do I feel sorry for myself, no way.
Truth, it takes me double the time to do a simple task.
I have been on the comparison train for 2 years. Life isn’t perfect.
I pride myself for plowing through life with 30 years of MS. It doesn’t define me. It’s my reality and life moves physically slower. I have no control over the situation.
Author
I honor you for moving through the challenges of MS. You have reminded me of the importance of not over-identifying with my conditions. Thanks so much for adding to the beauty and understanding here. Happy Christmas to you and yours.
I love ALL your posts 🤗but this may be one of my ALL TIME FAVS! Everything you spoke here resonates with me and so I wasn’t surprised to see so many others feeling the same way!!! Even though it’s Dec 29th & I’m JUST now reading this Dec 1st post, it still inspires and gives me fresh ideas even though Christmas is over…these are ideas for LIFE!!!! We are driving to the beach for our 4th annual family Christmas beach vaca and this post was a treat & a gift along the way! I will reread this many times…because there’s so much gracious goodness to soak up from it!! Thanks dear soul & blessed 2024 to you & all your dear readers! Btw…my husband is reading a book entitled “We’re Only Human” which echos what your saying here…that our limitations are actually designed by God to cause us to NEED EACH OTHER & that’s the way He meant it to be❤️
Author
You’re a gift. Not just to me but to all who stop here. Thank you, friend. Enjoy your time with loved ones as you prepare for a new year of blessings. We really do need each other. xox