Spoiler alert. You sure don’t need permission from me to chill in December this holiday season. Are you kidding? I am perhaps the most hopelessly inconsistent, least-credentialed Christmas chiller in holy day history. If you’re the type who is energized and joyfully childlike when November rolls ’round, maybe this will enlighten and you’ll better understand folks who seem locked out of the magic.
Holiday Chill Pills for Everyone!
Reflections From a Worrier
Intense mixed feelings are stirred for me every November. Old stories, old patterns, old programs. I need a software update because new neural pathways, new habits, and changes take time.
Bless you if hustle, excessive spending, big feelings, and tinsel overload bring out your best. The economy does seem to rely on all this hustling.
As for me, chillin’ is a way to practice more self-compassion.
Sweet freedom from culture-reinforced holiday marketing anxiety.
Opting out of the rush and excess means I won’t be tempted to compare my Christmas snapshots to yours. (Not a small thing in an age of social media.)
Is Embracing Calm Selfish?
Wait. If I’m not freaking about decorations, perfect gifts, and the trappings, am I even a good parent/friend/partner embodying a spirit of gracious giving?
It’s a question only you can truly answer by searching your heart.
Where does my responsibility to create a magical season of celebration begin and end? Will the magic not be there should I bring a spirit of subdued spaciousness?
Who benefits when my nervous system is more balanced and rested?
What underlies pressures surfacing each year to top last year’s festivities and make the magic memorable?
Permission to Chill, Let Go & Allow Magic
For me, there’s fear that if I’m not laboring and worrying, the magic won’t appear. It’s tricky to let go of traditions that no longer fit, of dreams of perfect Christmases. It’s hard to trust it will all be enough if I’m not pushing myself to the point of mental and emotional exhaustion.
It will all be enough? What is it?
Deconstructing the “it” is important. Maybe it is the connection and unity felt each year on a holy day where hearts open to receive the light and Good News.
Calmness feels radical and subversive maybe because we are so conditioned to be subject to transactions. If something amazing is arriving, there’s a payment and work to earn it, yes?
It is as if I cannot fathom FREEDOM and space to breathe, be, and rest.
But isn’t the Christmas story in part about a brand new revolutionary LOVE?
Letting Go of Old Holiday Stories
My journey with chronic illness and suffering have taught me about limits and surrender.
Without poor health and failures, I may not feel as emboldened to challenge the status quo and envision new ideas of what constitutes a happy holiday.
Let’s face it. I still sense cultural messages proclaiming: if you don’t have good health, what do you even have? Maybe those words ring innocent and true for you. You may be surprised at how much hurt, fear, and shame arise from this sentiment.
The truth is, physical weakness, disabilities, aging, and illness are inevitable and not curses. Poor health can coincide with spiritual wealth and rich character.
Our immature culture fears failing health and aging bodies. You can see this in our systems which make it difficult to eat well, age well, afford health care, and work health-honoring schedules.
But I can speak with authority that you CAN prosper with poor health, friends. You can have…
Vision, wisdom, patience, mercy, compassion, love, integrity, creativity, intelligence, joy, generosity, adventure, fruitfulness, hope, beauty, courage, imagination, dignity, ambition, humor, gratitude, heartfulness, strength, and wholeness.
Poor health will not lock you out of Eden or automatically bankrupt you of these things.
Permission for Holiday Calm
Goodness, that was a lot of words. In summary:
You and yours are free to embody and welcome calm this Christmas. Free to choose how a joyous December and magical holiday will feel, sound, taste and look.
Search your heart and soul to discern where you will give your YES and where you will give your NO.
Choose what fits right where you are and not where you were back then or where you may be next year.
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Calming Strategies
Ways I personally calmed my holiday frenzy follow:
1. I Decorate When I Feel Like It
I put up the tree for Thanksgiving but still haven’t decorated it. When the time feels right, I’ll embellish it. Or maybe the little white lights will be enough. And maybe it will stay up through January if we have a lot of grey days since it adds such cozy factor.
Last year I limited my color palette to white. I put on a favorite podcast and began creating lovely white paper bag snowflakes.
Ditch the Facade That Decking the Halls is Easy or Fun
I’m very sorry to reveal the first rule of INFLUENCER 101 marketing is MAKE IT LOOK BEYOND EASY. Also, you must say enjoy the process…like, a lot. If a content creator wants to compell you to buy, make, or use the thing, the content must suggest the process is very manageable and tidy.
Decorating rooms, trees, porches, and cookies may be highly enjoyable with rich payoffs, but easy? You don’t have to make your efforts look easy. Pace yourself. Make it more pleasant with Christmas music or while watching a movie. Treat yourself. Ask for help. Delegate. Curse as necessary. Or skip it entirely if your energy is needed elsewhere.
2. Decorate With Food
Not inventing anything new here. Why do we forget we can fill up our own senses by cooking and baking delicious holiday treats that can also serve as decoration? No need to be a pastry chef or spend hours watching youTubes. You can even buy a grocery store cake or cookies and place them on pretty pedestals. BUY LOTS OF FRUIT EVEN IF YOU DON’T PLAN TO EAT THE FRUIT. Bowls of green apples or clementines look festive everywhere. If you won’t be eating them, use them for a simmer on the stove before they go bad.
Not crazy about gingerbread house making?
Make a candy house or buy gingerbread cookies to decorate a Christmas tree.
Even jars of this with a pretty ribbon qualify as decoration!
3. Deck Just One Room
The Kringle police are not going to make an arrest should you choose just one room or one corner of a room holiday-ready.
If you have a fireplace, maybe that will be the only holiday moment. And maybe just maybe it will encourage you to relax more in front of it as it welcomes you with cheer.
If you are one fireplace short, maybe just a single shelf.
4. Light Candles
If your holiday decorating stress comes from being the one responsible for creating the magical backdrop for memories, think candles.
Could lighting candles eliminate the need for hours of housework? ALL THE YEPS. If you’re entertaining, skip the deep clean until AFTER the shindig. Turn the lights low and light those candles everywhere, you relaxed maker of Christmas magic!
Here are the votives I always have on hand.
Need an easy holiday get together idea? For an easy dessert and no baking, buy a plain cheesecake from your favorite restaurant or bakery. Buy a few topping options, and everyone can enjoy their favorite. In lieu of a full bar or a bunch of booze shopping, serve this as a cocktail and mocktail:
5. Ease Gift Giving Stress With a Theme
It keeps me organized when I come up with a theme for gifts. Even a broad category such as ‘gourmet gifts’ or ‘custom photo gifts’ or ‘puzzles’ can simplify the shopping.
Even freakouts can be endearing and slightly festive:
Peace to you right where you are.
-michele
Thanks for shopping RIGHT HERE to keep decor inspiration flowing on Hello Lovely!
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