I don’t need to tell you it’s October and Breast Cancer Awareness month. Three days in, maybe you’re already sick of ribbons and pink everything. You’re very AWARE. How could you not be? All of us know someone, love someone, lost someone. I’m a previvor with a rare genetic mutation called BRCA2. Sympathy, pity, and admiration can be skipped here. I’m sharing my story because our voices matter. Also, because I’m grateful for the freedom to previve…this wasn’t a possibility for my ancestors. Finally, I post this because posts where I speak vulnerably inevitably get trolls worked up. They will bully me about bleaching my hair and shame me for whining. But I didn’t take crap from bullies growing up, and I don’t intend to now…
BRCA2 Previvor Life
We lost my aunt to ovarian cancer when she was 28. Breast cancer tends to be fatal in my family for aunts and cousins in their 40s. So when my mom was diagnosed with BC, my sisters and I tested.
BRCA2 Previving Journey
Two of us were positive for BRCA2, a genetic mutation. With a too-high risk of developing ovarian or breast cancers, in 2013, my sister and I opted for a complete hysterectomies, bilateral mastectomies, and reconstruction.
What are all the dead pointe shoes about? I collect them. They’re symbolic for me of beauty, hard work, perseverance, defying gravity, and going beyond ourselves. And the color!
While there are a ton of breast cancer identities (survivor, previvor, patient, warrior, etc.), labels shouldn’t separate us. We’re all fighting unseen battles. And we’re all on an anti-cancer journey, yes? My own BC journey is genetically rare (.2% to .3% of population), but in a sense, you and I are not different at all!
We’re fleshy and living vulnerably in toxic environments. We’re striving to live in healthy ways so as not to promote cancer cell growth within our bodies. My heart warms for my mom, who battles cancer daily, but it also overflows with admiration and mercy for my little sister who did not test positive for BRCA2. Not a previvor nor a survivor, she also battles every single day to minimize hereditary cancer risk.
With BRCA2+ genetic mutation, I cannot easily suppress tumor growth, yet you have invisible risk factors for breast cancer too. You know about these, but allow the mama me to love on you.
Wear sunscreen, eliminate tobacco, exercise daily, see the doctor regularly, get regular mammograms (if your breasts are dense, maybe you’ll require other stuff), avoid or drink booze moderately, eat colorfully gorgeous organic food, and avoid radiation exposure.
We’re All on Anti-Cancer Journeys
And there’s more you can do (straight from my trained counselor heart): address emotional wounds and explore rage, anxiety, trauma, despair, and stress. Such excavation work influences gene expression, creates hormonal and chemical changes in the body, and may offer repair at the cellular level.
If fighting is the wrong metaphor for your unique journey, one size does not fit all. I am chronically ill with Crohn’s and chronic pancreatitis. Flares all of the time, plenty of bad days, and a certain measure of daily pain. Fighting has never been as helpful as surrender.
Resisting the waves of pain that roll in never served me as well as surfing them. Winning battles? I’m spicy but not an athlete and maybe not competitive enough. I actually don’t believe what I cherish can be lost. Deepening, growing, letting go, and finding wonder in spite of all of the imperfection and challenges? Mmmmmm. Feels rich and meaningful.
Healing means something different to me after all of these years of suffering. Cure does not seem to be coming for me. Yet there can be healing in the absence of cure.
What do days of healing without cure look like? It’s maybe the work of a lifetime to see them. To allow vision to be refined in a way where glimpses of transcendence can be seen everywhere. Daily transformation. New mercies. Awe. Moments heaven breaks through. Music unlocking something hidden in the soul. Dance freeing an ache. LOVE. Real love. No imitation will do.
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Peace to you right where you are.
-michele
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You are incredibly inspirational. I thank you for sharing you and your families journey for health. I also love the tips on reducing stress which feels nearly impossible but I obviously must do.
Author
Thanks for reading! Self-compassion is a topic I didn’t really mention in this post but is a huge piece of healthcare and prevention of disease. It’s an ongoing act we can all improve upon so do give yourself some when you consider how much you are already doing and how far you’ve come. 🙂
Your spirit shines through every post you create, which is exactly why your blog is my favorite! Thank you, Michele!
Author
Thanks for reading and the loving support, friend. xox
one of the most touching posts I have ever seen. Just thank you. I don’t know what else to say, you will get this.
Author
love and peace to you right where you are.