Today I pause to inhale the beauty of this spiritual journey and share a bit of the blessing flowing right where I am. Most of the images were snapped on our recent road trip where wondrous Southern skies stirred my soul.
Do you ever experience a mysterious sort of inner buoyancy and consolation that you strongly sense is coming from a source beyond you, deep within you, or maybe both?
Because it’s happening just now, and I suspect it is divine energy from prayers lifted on my behalf (or the lingering angel-love of departed friends and family.)
I’m so grateful for this joy alive in my heart.
What joy to be lifted high enough to see a landscape of beauty…to be warmed by rays of hope…to feel the vibrations of a sweet note pulsing on the air.
Oh this music swirling in my cells, in my world right now with its echoing “all shall be well” and “all is rigged in your favor.”
I’m naturally stubborn so I count it a small miracle that I trust every echo…do you suppose that is the essence of faith?
My health has been far better, yet my spirit seems not to know.
There is all this wisdom that can only grow in the valley, when I am unable to soak up sunshine from mountaintops.
In the valley, I remember how I am wonderfully made to be loved beneath all these trappings.
Beneath roles of mother, wife, and daughter. Beneath titles, talents, shortcomings, and even personality.
For when my identities are stripped away and I quietly consent to Presence, the truth of my belovedness emerges.
I started a new treatment for my illness, and we hope it will help. I have experienced many bouts of illness before (one chapter lasted 18 months, and I narrowly survived…but I am a sassy girl!) so I have courage and hope.
Still. I’m only human, and there are unknowns.
Isn’t this just how all of life goes?
We much prefer easy answers, swift resolutions, and golden cures.
This I know.
In the absence of comfort, in the absence of tidy, happy everafters, in the absence of cure, HEALING CAN BECOME OUR GLORY.
Healing can transform brokenness as the old falls away and the new arises.
But what of the cure?
I don’t know. I wish I knew.
But I wonder if healing can somehow serve one as well as any cure.
I wonder if brokenness can be a fruitful sort of coming apart.
I can’t help but think of a violet or an herb releasing its fragrance when it is trampled underfoot (poets through the ages have compared such fragrance to forgiveness).
Is it possible that suffering sometimes yields a fragrant offering for the whole wide world? (An important wisdom teacher bringing good news two thousand years ago comes to mind.)
I don’t know anything at all, but right where I am, this feels true:
In the absence of cure, God who comes disguised as healing is the same loving God who comes as cure.
This joy singing in my heart is quite a gift.
And since I feel Grace inside and outside and all around, really, friends, how can I lose?
Right where I am, the veil has been pulled back a little bit.
As I lean into mercy, I am granted another opportunity to relearn my loveliness and the beauty of desert places.
From the valley, my hands are weak yet long to open, stretch heavenward, then rest upon my heart.
“You’re so good to me” is on my lips.
Surely this is how healing begins. How the journey becomes visibly sacred and rich. (Of course it was always sacred…every bit of it, but awareness tends to dull outside of the valley).
Surely this is how peace carries us through the valley, not because our faith is steadfast and strong, but because a goodness-full, holy force IS.
Thank you for opening your heart to these imperfect words flowing from another heart cracked open.
The following litany* arrived in my inbox, and if it brings you blessing too…well, that is a fine start for the glory of my brokenness, now isn’t it?
“God, You work . . .
in the accelerating expansion of the universe
in the spiraling of galaxies
in the explosion of supernovas
in the singularity of black holes
in the regularity of the Solar System
in the equilibrium of the Earth’s ecology
in the evolving of a society
. . .
in the functioning of our organs
in the chemical processes within our bodies
in the forces within the atom
in the “weird” behavior of quantum particles
. . .
May I sit in wonder that I live entirely within Your Presence everywhere and in everything and everyone.”
Wherever this finds you, dear soul, I want you to know I am joining you as your sister. You are so very very precious and worthy of goodness and mercy. Things are going to work out, friend.
Peace to you right where you are.