Brené Brown Quotes: Courage, Empathy & Vulnerability for Personal Growth
A lot of us can remember the moment we saw Dr. Brené Brown’s Ted Talk and were blown away (58+ million views on Ted’s site alone!). That was many years ago for me, and what a blessing to learn from the social scientist in these tumultuous times. In this post, you’ll find favorite Brené Brown Quotes: Courage, Empathy & Vulnerability as well as resources for prints, books and more.
“THE NEAR ENEMY OF LOVE IS ATTACHMENT…TRUE LOVE ALLOWS, HONORS, AND APPRECIATES; ATTACHMENT GRASPS, DEMANDS, NEEDS, AND AIMS TO POSSESS.”
“I’ve spent over 20 years studying the emotions and experiences that bring meaning and purpose to our lives, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s this: We are hardwired for connection, and connecting requires courage, vulnerability, and conversation.”
–Brené Brown
“VULNERABILITY IS NOT WINNING OR LOSING. IT’S HAVING THE COURAGE TO SHOW UP WHEN YOU CAN’T CONTROL THE OUTCOME.”
Pssst. Did you know she has a podcastnow!?! Also, I thought she was much younger than me, and it turns out she is months older!
Brené Brown Quotes: Courage, Empathy & Vulnerability
But why? Why make space for all these words about cultivating courage and leaning into deeper levels of vulnerability? Because we all have work to do. I don’t care what your age is; there are ways we all need to grow.
Brené Brown Quotes – “SHAME CORRODES THE VERY PART OF US THAT BELIEVES WE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE.”
It may be a small thing, but I can’t think of a single social problem in the culture that cannot in part be healed by: A CHANGE OF HEART, a willingness to get humble, a transformed spirit, a shifted mindset, and a long hard look in the mirror.
“WE CAN’T ASK PEOPLE TO GIVE US SOMETHING THAT WE BELIEVE WE ARE NOT WORTHY OF RECEIVING.”
The Talk That Put Her Name on Our Lips
Brené Brown Quotes – “SELF KINDNESS: BEING WARM AND UNDERSTANDING TOWARD OURSELVES WHEN WE SUFFER, FAIL, OR FEEL INADEQUATE.”
“HERE’S WHAT I THINK INTEGRITY IS: IT’S CHOOSING COURAGE OVER COMFORT, CHOOSING WHAT’S RIGHT OVER WHAT’S FUN, FAST, OR EASY. AND PRACTICING YOUR VALUES.”
“WHEN WE’RE BUSY PLEASING, PERFECTING, AND PERFORMING, WE END UP SAYING YES A LOT WHEN WE MEAN NO.”
Inspiring & Encouraging Wisdom Quotes
“I THOUGHT FAITH WOULD SAY, “I’LL TAKE AWAY THE PAIN AND DISCOMFORT,” BUT WHAT IT ENDED UP SAYING WAS, “I’LL SIT WITH YOU IN IT.”
“BLAME HAS AN INVERSE RELATIONSHIP WITH ACCOUNTABILITY. ACCOUNTABILITY BY DEFINITION IS A VULNERABLE PROCESS…BLAMING IS ONE OF THE REASONS WE MISS OUR OPPORTUNITIES FOR EMPATHY.”
“AUTHENTICITY IS THE DAILY PRACTICE OF LETTING GO OF WHO WE THINK WE’RE SUPPOSED TO BE AND EMBRACING WHO WE ARE.”
“DARING IS NOT SAYING “I’M WILLING TO RISK FAILURE.” DARING IS SAYING “I KNOW I WILL EVENTUALLY FAIL, AND I’M STILL ALL IN.”
Vulnerability is Not Oversharing
A lot of folks hear ‘vulnerability’ and think it means spilling their guts or disclosing a lot of personal material.
“SCIENCE IS NOT THE TRUTH. SCIENCE IS FINDING THE TRUTH. WHEN SCIENCE CHANGES ITS OPINION, IT DIDN’T LIE TO YOU. IT LEARNED MORE.”
But that’s not it. Here is how BB explains the difference:
“Sharing appropriately, with boundaries, means sharing with people with whom we’ve developed relationships that can bear the weight of our story. The result of this mutually respectful vulnerability is increased connection, trust, and engagement.
“VULNERABILITY IS NOT OVERSHARING, IT’S SHARING WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE EARNED THE RIGHT TO HEAR OUR STORY.”
Vulnerability without boundaries leads to disconnection, distrust, and disengagement. In fact…boundaryless disclosure is one way we protect ourselves from real vulnerability.”
ABOVE: “VULNERABILITY IS NOT WEAKNESS; IT’S OUR GREATEST MEASURE OF COURAGE.”
Quotes to Pin About Trust & Relationships
“WHEN SOMEONE SHARES THEIR HOPES AND DREAMS WITH US, WE ARE WITNESSING DEEP COURAGE AND VULNERABILITY. CELEBRATING THEIR SUCCESSES IS EASY, BUT WHEN DISAPPOINTMENT HAPPENS, IT’S AN INCREDIBLE OPPORTUNITY FOR MEANINGFUL CONNECTION.”
“RESENTMENT IS THE FEELING OF FRUSTRATION, JUDGMENT, ANGER, ‘BETTER THAN,’ AND/OR HIDDEN ENVY RELATED TO PERCEIVED UNFAIRNESS OR INJUSTICE. IT’S AN EMOTION THAT WE OFTEN EXPERIENCE WHEN WE FAIL TO SET BOUNDARIES OR ASK FOR WHAT WE NEED, OR WHEN EXPECTATIONS LET US DOWN BECAUSE THEY WERE BASED ON THINGS WE CAN’T CONTROL, LIKE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK, WHAT THEY FEEL, OR HOW THEY’RE GOING TO REACT.”
“I’VE LEARNED THAT POWER IS NOT BAD, BUT THE ABUSE OF POWER OR USING POWER OVER OTHERS IS THE OPPOSITE OF COURAGE; IT’S A DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO MAINTAIN A VERY FRAGILE EGO.”
“‘NO REGRETS’ HAS BECOME SYNONYMOUS WITH DARING AND ADVENTURE, BUT I DISAGREE. THE IDEA OF ‘NO REGRETS’ DOESN’T MEAN LIVING WITH COURAGE, IT MEANS LIVING WITHOUT REFLECTION. TO LIVE WITHOUT REGRET IS TO BELIEVE WE HAVE NOTHING TO LEARN, NO AMENDS TO MAKE, AND NO OPPORTUNITY TO BE BRAVER WITH OUR LIVES.”
Brené Brown Explains Blame
I love these short animated teachings and bet you will too!
“IN FACT RESEARCH SHOWS THAT THE PROCESS OF LABELING EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCE IS RELATED TO GREATER EMOTION REGULATION AND PSYCHOSOCIAL WELL-BEING.”
“WE NEED HAPPY MOMENTS AND HAPPINESS IN OUR LIVES; HOWEVER, I’M GROWING MORE CONVINCED THAT THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS MAY GET IN THE WAY OF DEEPER, MORE MEANINGFUL EXPERIENCES LIKE JOY AND GRATITUDE. I KNOW, FROM TEH RESEARCH AND MY EXPERIENCES, THAT WHEN IT COMES TO PARENTING, WHAT MAKES CHILDREN HAPPY IN THE MOMENT IS NOT ALWAYS WHAT LEADS THEM TO DEVELOPING DEEPER JOY, GROUNDED CONFIDENCE, AND MEANINGFUL CONNECTION.”
Self-Kindness & Personal Growth Help
“TAKING PLEASURE IN SOMEONE ELSE’S FAILINGS, EVEN IF THAT PERSON IS SOMEONE WE REALLY DISLIKE, CAN VIOLATE OUR VALUES AND LEAD TO FEELINGS OF GUILT AND SHAME. BUT, MAKE NO MISTAKE, IT’S SEDUCTIVE, ESPECIALLY WHEN WE’RE SUCKED INTO GROUPTHINK.”
“GOOD FRIENDS AREN’T AFRAID OF YOUR LIGHT. THEY NEVER BLOW OUT YOUR FLAME AND YOU DON’T OUT THEIRS–EVEN WHEN IT’S REALLY BRIGHT AND IT MAKES YOU WORRY ABOUT YOUR OWN FLAME.”
The Gifts of Imperfection
I’m not sure we can ever be reminded often enough that we are enough. But we are!
“WHEN WE REJECT THE TRUTH OF SOMEONE’S STORY–THE ULTIMATE FAILURE OF STORY STEWARDSHIP–IT’S OFTEN BECAUSE WE’VE STEALTHILY CENTERED OURSELVES IN THEIR STORY, AND THE NARRATIVE TAKEOVER IS ABOUT PROTECTING OUR EGO, BEHAVIOR, OR PRIVILEGE. THE LESS DIVERSE OUR LIVED EXPERIENCES, THE MORE LIKELY WE ARE TO FIND OURSELVES STRUGGLING WITH NARRATIVE TAKEOVER OR NARRATIVE TAP-OUT.”
“EMPATHY IS NOT RELATING TO AN EXPERIENCE, IT’S CONNECTING TO WHAT SOMEONE IS FEELING ABOUT AN EXPERIENCE.”
How Shame Shapes Us
“THERE ARE TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THE WORLD TODAY WHO DECIDE TO LIVE DISAPPOINTED RATHER THAN RISK FEELING DISAPPOINTMENT. THIS CAN TAKE THE SHAPE OF NUMBING, FOREBODING JOY, BEING CYNICAL OR CRITICAL, OR JUST NEVER REALLY FULLY ENGAGING.”
“THIS IS ONE REASON WE NEED TO DISPEL THE MYTH THAT EMPATHY IS ‘WALKING IN SOMEONE ELSE’S SHOES.’ RATHER THAN WALKING IN YOUR SHOES, I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO LISTEN TO THE STORY YOU TELL ABOUT WHAT IT’S LIKE IN YOUR SHOES AND BELIEVE YOU WHEN IT DOESN’T MATCH MY EXPERIENCES.”
“CHOOSING TO BE CURIOUS IS CHOOSING TO BE VULNERABLE BECAUSE IT REQUIRES US TO SURRENDER TO UNCERTAINTY.”
“COMPARISON IS THE CRUSH OF CONFORMITY FROM ONE SIDE AND COMPETITION FROM THE OTHER–IT’S TRYING TO SIMULTANEOUSLY FIT IN AND STAND OUT. COMPARISON SAYS, “BE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, BUT BETTER.”
“COMMUNICATING OUR EXPECTATIONS IS BRAVE AND VULNERABLE. AND IT BUILDS MEANINGFUL CONNECTION AND OFTEN LEADS TO HAVING A PARTNER OR FRIEND WHO WE CAN REALITY-CHECK WITH.”
“WERE THE COMFORT AND SAFETY OF THAT PAST EXISTENCE REAL? IF SO, WERE THEY AT SOMEONE ELSE’S EXPENSE?”
Hand-Lettered Art With Quotes
Print to Frame, RaeLetteringCO on Etsy GRACE MEANS THAT ALL OF YOUR MISTAKES NOW SERVE A PURPOSE INSTEAD OF SERVING SHAME.
Buy the Print HERE, GingerandFernPrints on Etsy I AM A RECOVERING PERFECTIONIST AND AN ASPIRING “GOOD-ENOUGHIST.”
Just Show Up Print, RaeLetteringCO on Etsy SOMETIMES THE BRAVEST AND MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU CAN DO IS JUST SHOW UP.
Listen to Brené Brown’s teaching about trust taken from a poignant moment in her personal life as a parent:
“PEOPLE WILL DO ALMOST ANYTHING TO NOT FEEL PAIN, INCLUDING CAUSING PAIN AND ABUSING POWER.”
“WORRYING AND ANXIETY GO TOGETHER, BUT WORRY IS NOT AN EMOTION; IT’S THE THINKING PART OF ANXIETY.”
“FOR ANXIETY AND DREAD, THE THREAT IS IN THE FUTURE. FOR FEAR, THE THREAT IS NOW–IN THE PRESENT.”
“THE MORE DIFFICULT IT IS TO ARTICULATE OUR EXPERIENCES OR LOSS, LONGING, AND FEELING LOST TO THE PEOPLE AROUND US, THE MORE DISCONNECTED AND ALONE WE FEEL.”
“THE NEAR ENEMY OF LOVE IS ATTACHMENT…TRUE LOVE ALLOWS, HONORS, AND APPRECIATES; ATTACHMENT GRASPS, DEMANDS, NEEDS, AND AIMS TO POSSESS.”
Calm Quote Worth Sharing
Here’s what Dr. Brown told Gwyneth Paltrow in a chat last year about becoming more calm and less reactive:
CALM PEOPLE ASK: DO I HAVE ENOUGH DATA TO FREAK OUT? IF I HAVE ENOUGH DATA, WILL THAT HELP THE SITUATION?
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Peace to you right where you are.
-michele
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Hi Michele,
Love these quotes from Brene. I’ve never read her books so thanks for introducing her to us! Hope you’re well my friend. You are an inspiration to me!
xoxo
Thanks so much for considering them, Holly. My background in psychology and counseling paired with the fact I’m about the same age as Brene means her work resonates deeply with me. She is doing so much good in the world as her work contributes to improved relationships, communication, and self-acceptance. xox
Hi Michele,
Love these quotes from Brene. I’ve never read her books so thanks for introducing her to us! Hope you’re well my friend. You are an inspiration to me!
xoxo
Author
Thanks so much for considering them, Holly. My background in psychology and counseling paired with the fact I’m about the same age as Brene means her work resonates deeply with me. She is doing so much good in the world as her work contributes to improved relationships, communication, and self-acceptance. xox