Do the words spiritual and journey
make you wanna throw things?
I just wrote a long poignant
stream of consciousness thing about mine
then blew it up.
It’s too important to get it right,
plus I am, as they say, in the throes.
Here’s a peek though:
my journey involves BRCA2,
and feeling spiritually opened.
What has arrived with genetic test results
and surgeries is also an opportunity
So I am.
I am still trying to be a light for my mom,
who is battling Stage III breast cancer.
Honestly though I think I am failing
my BRCA2+ sister
who is blogging about her journey.
She’s very brave. She wants all the info.
I keep hearing myself ask her
some version of “will we EVER discuss
anything other than 3-D nipple tattoos?”
I’m not sensitive or compassionate enough.
I’m too busy broadcasting my own needs and
hotflashing and seeking distractions.
I want to do better, and already I think God
may be burning all kinds of unGodly crap
out of me.
Is that what a hotflash is?
It is a humbling journey.
a girl occasionally clever
with ‘silver linings within the suffering’ schtick.
For a mama with her head in the clouds, painting
dreamy abstracts while stoned high on buttercream.
For a Real Housewife of True Dork City,
who just angrily called her shih tzu a weenie
For an ungraceful
lover of words who can’t
pirouette for shizzle.
For a Sunbeam for Jesus with
doctorates in blogology and self-deprecation.
It’s helpful to write this schtuff down
because it leads to discovery and leaves
me only a tad nervous that at this
juncture you are looking for a blunt
object to hurl at the screen
because it sounds an awful lot like
a spiritual journey post.
Just before my mom’s mastectomy
Thanks for all the hand holding.
I honor you for reading.
(Learn more about my diagnosis here)
Peace to you right where you are.