Radical Rest: Resist Fear & Rise to Love

I cannot seem to collect enough reminders to practice slower living, stillness, and relaxed postures at home. I’m actually calling this mode of moving through problems and life radical rest because it has become remarkable to see others in the culture respond with calmness to chaos and change. I’m not special. Just as prone to rush things and worry. What do I fear about the slow and steady? And in spite of all this excess energy, what keeps me from “racing” to literally get my house in order, to pare down the contents filling boxes in the basement?

Radical Rest at Home & Resistance

I have said it before, but to get my head on straight about intentional living and mindfulness first begins with sleep hygiene so I can see my goals and plan from a settled nervous system.

If I am sleep deprived (and good gracious, this is frequent since my body awakens every single night after four hours of sleep only), I just won’t make the soundest choices.

So the first step for living with more relaxed postures starts with a clear head, an open heart, and a settled body. If I move at a frantic pace with deadlines and feverish plans hovering, a slow pace feels impossible and even threatening.

Another mindful self-compassionate posture? STOP COMPARING YOUR CURRENT PRODUCTIVITY AND PACE to what it used to be. There was a time in my 40s when my worth felt dependent on what I accomplished in a single day.

I could juggle so much at once. Maybe all the moving parts and nutty pace energized me. SLOW has a freshened appeal when you aren’t: comparing, dancing as fast as you can, or hustling for your worth.

Functioning at a more life giving, relaxed pace for me means living with spare surroundings and easier maintenance.

Mindful Subtraction With Relaxed Methods

When I’m tackling things at home and don’t know where to start, I choose one space to begin. It always feels good to clear it, give it a deep clean and let my mind quietly decide what can be subtracted.

Such a process echoes slower living. There are always inflection points where we can assess, pivot, and decide what we will pour ourselves into. What feels good about the newly freed up spaces? What will stay?

I like spaciousness. I don’t see lack as much as room for new growth.

No pressure to make quick decisions, but if possible, after clearing a space, allow time with it (place decor/objects in a pergatory place out of sight). Slower and relaxed is both the method and the goal.

I know deadlines to get stuff done are real. The holidays! Husband’s birthday! The book club gathering! Because of my chronic illness and disease, you have heard me sigh: I’m just not sure I have that kind of time.

It’s true we never know if there will truly be time. But not even that harsh reality need shift me into worry-hurry mode.

This reflection I shared last year continues to resonate:

Life is about constant work, and I guess what I’m suggesting a few months shy of my 60th birthday is NOBODY SAID THE CHOREOGRAPHY OF THE WORK MUST BE FEVERISH OR PAINFUL.

In fact, maybe it’s my inner bad bad b!tch surfacing, but I see no reason to become a slave to time. I have less of it now. So be it. My time may be up tomorrow…not rushing today, child.

Radical Rest & Relaxing on Good Days

As far as chronic illness and autoimmune disease, there are good days and not so good days…

and to savor the peaceful ones with radically relaxed postures takes intention.

No more shifting into turbo homemaker and perfect breadmaker when I feel relief. Forget about the old patterns of thinking that the world relies on me to save it on good days since tomorrow’s energy is not promised.

Now I know better. Slow and relaxed with a song in the heart still gets sh!t done. Adrenaline rushes, sacrifices, and self-denial can kiss my grits.

Lower that bar if it means deeper breath and a calmer inner world. How many messages absorbed from culture (she’s so wrapped up in herself; she thinks she’s ALL THAT) keep us turning away from our needs? Serving others is honorable, but the cost can grow too steep. Get that oxygen mask on, mama.

Just a reminder that it isn’t likely anyone will be impressed you reached for your oxygen mask. We can’t wait for praise beyond ourselves about how well we’re practicing slow-mo and radical relaxation.

Letting Go of Old Measures of Self-Worth

One of the more challenging parts of daily life these days is how my good health relies upon…umm… eating! What should be a pleasurable, somewhat easy layer to my days is a challenge. Try to avoid disordered eating with a gnarly GI that’s on par with an infant’s when you need to absorb nutrients and avoid deficiencies.

It feels as though I’m allergic to myself, and even the healthiest histamine-free diet and disciplined patterns are no match for such reactivity. There’s baked-in resistance to my healthy choices so that chaos seems to be in charge.

Maybe it’s a different resistance for you. I like to imagine it is helping us grow. Forget about transcending as a spiritual being detached from the body. Does that work for you? The more I can see my wholeness is not dependent upon “cure” or “complete healing” or “perfect remission?” The more I can see my pathology holds potential for prosperity? This is liberated and joyful seeing. This is journeying in faith toward maturity.

Radically Relaxed Living Ideas

Interested in a slower pace? Maybe this will enlighten.

The winds are picking up here so soon I’ll head south.

A warmer climate with liberal doses of mountain medicine, fresh air, sunshine, and relaxed beauty are ahead.

I don’t know what the future holds for my physical health or emotional balance.

But I know I can count on myself to have my back. I am becoming less attached to outcomes, less concerned with measuring my efforts and productivity. I long to be seen and accepted, but I am loosening the grip on my expectations of others to notice my worth. Less fixation, rumination, and assessment of how others love/serve/neglect/misjudge me. I want to focus on how well I am loving others; I want to break habits of measuring love flowing from others and stop insisting upon balance.

Words of Affirmation for You

HERE’S TO more restful life at home created with self-compassion for the abundant GIFT it is. LOVE is always the point.

Oh, and also a reminder that JOMO (joy of missing out) is a thing. Go big or go home? Sometimes the big reward is away from the big in the small of home. Saying no to things requiring self-abandonment? YES, please.

10 FREE Things to Embrace a Bit More Peacefulness

Here’s a collection with no mention of namaste (not that meditation isn’t important…it’s just that it doesn’t have to mean sitting on a mat everyday).

I’m sure you already have built wonderful daily rituals and rhythms into your day to get centered.

Regarding #8 on our list…it’s really important to forgive yourself to usher peace into the body. Shame, pain, and old stories get lodged in the body’s tissues.

Also, as far as #10 (invest in relationships)…this thought from BBT is the goal:

This liberation work (see above) is the work of a lifetime. We can also spring ourselves from the prison of old narratives rehearsed so many times they feel like truth. We need not rise to a certain level of strength to release them since we can seek the grace for the courage and direction to begin.

p.s.

I love you.

Peace to you right where you are.

-michele

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